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Genetics and other biological factors are thought to play a role in anger/aggression. True authenticity would be expressing the hurt or fear that's giving rise to the anger -- which you might do with a partner. DO recognize and acknowledge your child's feelings. They also can address any underlying issues your child may be facing. (Mostly in … “Most importantly your children want to be seen and heard, so even though it may be difficult to hear them out without interrupting … If you validate your child's feelings, then your child doesn't need to defend those feelings and is less likely to respond in anger. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. At any age, when a child says, “I want to kill myself,” the child generally feels she cannot control the situation or the grown-ups, so she turns the anger against herself. 1. In moments of stress and anger, try to refrain from saying anything mean or sarcastic to your child. Nursing your grievances indefinitely is a bad habit, because (as the title goes) it hurts you more than it hurts them. It can often get more complicated when they are adults. Resources : Anger Management Self-Hypnosis Audio Pack. For children, anger issues often accompany other mental health conditions, including ADHD, autism, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and Tourette’s syndrome. Anger is an attack on the other person, because you feel so upset inside. Environment is a contributor as well. Help your child find alternative ways to handle anger One of my students who hurt others in moments of rage was given strict boundaries for handling his anger. According to the research in When Anger Hurts Your Child, the authors found that the following appeared to be true: Anger and Its Effect on Children agressive angry conflict child screaming shouting, problem behaviour. He was disciplined when he acted inappropriately, but was also taught through counseling how to put himself in time-out when he felt himself getting mad. Start by talking to your child’s pediatrician about your concerns. On no account should the anger be expressed through violence, as this clearly does hurt others and, one way or another, the self as well, compounding the problem substantially. But with your child, your job is to manage your own emotions, not to put them on your child, so you need to be more measured. However, it is interesting to think about what some researchers are saying about the impact of anger on children. Acknowledging feelings causes your child's anger to soften and leaves a safe space in which he or she can learn empathy and coping skills. If you tend to fall apart, lose your cool, and act abusively at challenging times, you'll likely raise a child who does the same. 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